Feminist – Put Your Damn Shirt On!

I know I promised when I released my real name I would be good… but this is begging to be said. I have been browsing a lot of blogs lately and I am growing increasingly annoyed by the shirtless feminist posting huge pictures of themselves for ALL TO SEE! Why does bare chested women bother me? Because THIS IS A BLOG SITE, NOT A PORN SITE. PUT A DAMN SHIRT ON!

I read a lot of blog posts at home and work where people probably would not want to see tits suddenly on my screen. It kind of pisses me off that these feminist are using this as some sort of “statement” when all it really does it show how STUPID you are. Yes, STUPID!

“But we are being sexualized!!!” And taking your shirt off is doing what again? Guess what? When I see a male with their shirt off I say THE SAME THING! SO THERE IS YOUR EQUALITY.

Phew… I feel better.


Privileged Males? #NotAllMen

Nothing gets on my nerves more than feminist and women screaming at me about how “privileged” males are and more importantly trying to tell ME that I am one of them. What men are you referring to? Are you perhaps generalizing and assuming that the life of men on TV and the rich white 1% is the life ALL MEN share? That is the dumbest shit I have ever heard.

I am so privileged as an Asian male in America. Let me tell you all the awesome stuff that a Korean with a white name gets to encounter. I once had a recruiter walk past me three times muttering my name because he expected a white guy! “Jason Cushman… Jason Cushman… where the hell is this guy?” Right here dickhead, the only one sitting here!

I get raises all the time for being a man. In fact the last one I got was… wait… I have never gotten a raise for being a man. Damn…

I get help from my male managers all the time! After they are done helping Cindy and Sarah of course. It just can’t be because of their clothes or the fact that they are young and pretty. I am young and pretty too right? Ignore the penis…

As a male I was held up as a shining example by my family for the whole neighborhood to see and emulate! No wait… that was my sister. Never mind!

When I go to the bar I get to pay for ALL my drinks. It freaking rocks! I am so glad I don’t have anyone buying my ten dollar scotch for me. What a drag to have people constantly offering to pick up your tab. That would be So God Awful!… …

I walk around doing bird, cat, and donkey calls all day. I enjoy animals. I have no idea why women keep glaring at me…

I must have missed or been distracted when it was my turn for the “male privilege ride.” I’ll buy another ticket.


What would happen if Women ruled the World

1. The Earth would suddenly start rotating the sun in the opposite direction because women would decide everyone has been headed in the wrong direction this whole time. It is probably because the Earth was never forced to pull over and ask right?

2. Sports would suddenly be quarantined to one day a week. Ever notice men that our whole lives women have been trying to confine our love for sports? “No playing ball in the house!” “Do your homework before you go out and play basketball!” I mean talk about communism right.

3. There would suddenly be less men in the world. No one would ever say what happened to them, but like so many current Governments are doing there would be veiled “reasons” given for the sudden disappearances. Then free beer and an extra day of sports will appease the menfolk!

4. Zoos would suddenly have a new display.

5. Department stores would suddenly be gauged fully towards women. Wait… they already are. You win women… you win.

6. There would be no more “guys night out” unless it is your final night out…

7. Hooters would suddenly go bankrupt by some “paperwork issue.”

8. All the NFL jerseys and actually any jersey worn in sports would match and be color coordinated by season.

9. You might actually begin to get away with calling in sick for an “upset stomach.”

10. Well I definitely wouldn’t be writing this blog anymore.


Random Women Topics – Not Worth Reading

I love my current blog hopping that I get to do each day. I have been reading a lot of your blogs and I have a couple observations I just want to voice. Not really to anyone in particular… just a conversation between the wall and me.

I often read posts under the tags “love and relationships” where a woman is complaining about continuously being asked out. Granted… often times this post is not accompanied by a picture (cough, cough bullshit), but in the spirit of this post OK you are a drop dead gorgeous dame that gets hit on all the time. I would like to point out that I have never in my life said “drop dead gorgeous dame,” but I was trying to think of what a misogynist would say. Surprisingly enough it actually doesn’t just “come to me.” Imagine that…

So in the most recent post I read a woman complained about how men are predators when they learn a lady is newly single. She ranted on how sad that is and how men are ignorant for adopting this attitude of “well you are available now” when it comes to approaching relationships. Personally I agree. I mean what an asshole right? He waited until you were single and then dared to ask you out? What a fucking moron, we should probably castrate that horn dog. What an audacious bastard to think that just because you are single you might want to allow this guy to buy YOU dinner. What is wrong with the world?

How about what is WRONG WITH YOU! Do you know how many people never get asked out? Sounds funny to you right super hotness? Guess what? Not everyone is so lucky as to get asked out and even more importantly not everyone has the opportunity to be picky. That guy that asked you out that you so disdain probably sat around figuring out how to approach you. He probably practiced it in his head. He should have inserted your mockery into the mental picture huh? You live a rough life unnamed woman.

People need to stop and consider the other side of the court. Such selfishness in this world, everything is me, me, me. What ever happened to just being nice because of the principle of it? No, instead we belittle people and then take out our anger on them as if they are the cause. Take a strong look in the mirror before you define someone as the cause of your issues. Most cases you are the creator of what is bothering you. Not some poor chap that is simply gathering up the balls to ask a girl out on a date. Women can be such assholes.

-Opinionated Man

Random Relationship Advice

True to my word I will continue to provide much needed advice to the world in regards to women, relationships, and women. I put women twice on purpose because I am such an expert. Here are some random pieces of advice for those that care to improve their current social connections.

I place every friend on a “gift scale.” The size of the gift, or if a gift is even a real present, is based on the value of the friend. The easiest method is the “birthday gift test” which places a friendship value on each person. Are they worth a gift? Maybe a phone call instead???

Never make eye contact with your friend’s girlfriend. Women are always attracted to “the friend” for some odd reason. The last thing you want is some Shakespearian tragedy over a woman because in case you missed it most of the men die in those stories!

If you are ever sleeping upstairs with your girlfriend and you hear a loud BANG downstairs… send her to investigate. It was probably the cat you don’t own… Everyone should have an equal opportunity to be a hero right?

Serious Advice

Have you ever been stuck wondering if a girl likes you? Hit on her friend and see if her facial expression changes. Women have really bad poker faces.

It is often difficult to know who should pay on a first date. Do we go Dutch or do I pay for the first meal? I have come up with a way to solve this! To ensure that it is very clear the date is “Dutch” eat exactly half your food and drink half of your drink only! You might even want to draw a line on your plate. Sure this might seem like a waste of food, but isn’t it worth a little waste to set some nice boundary lines? Sometimes I spell D-U-T-C-H with my peas.

Never visit your girlfriend’s parents house the first time she asks you to. It is a trap! Instead, I like to show up unexpectedly to allow myself more freedom. Of course it does suck when you “unexpectedly” walk in on your girlfriend with her “other” boyfriend…

Breaking up is hard. I suggest paying a singing telegram to deliver the message. Who could possibly be mad at that??? Be sure and let him know she will tip.

-Opinionated Man

Ways to Keep from getting “Friendzoned”

Stop being her friend!!! Stop doing countless favors for her! You know that you are one step away from being called “the work horse” right?

Beat up her boyfriend or love interest. If he is bigger than you… challenge him to a dance battle. Make sure you practice those moves though; you don’t want to “get served.”

Get a girlfriend!!! The fastest way out of the “friendzone” is to make her jealous. Get a girlfriend, preferably one that looks just like your “friend,” and go from there. If you see the green eye of jealousy… SUCCESS!

Change what you like. You are obviously getting friendzoned because you like things she does… which is the issue. Why are you watching Sex in the City? Invite her to a Rambo marathon and break down that friend barrier!

All of your friends are girls… and not a single guy. This might be sending out the “wrong signal.” If you are truly interested in girls you may want to make that obvious. I suggest slipping in a sexist joke every other sentence to ensure they recognize your manliness.

You never make a move. Ever. It is really hard to “date” someone if you never ask them out. Cowboy up buddy.

You listen to her relationship drama. If you become “that guy” who gets called every time your “friend” breaks up with her current man, you will never get out of that role. Don’t accept it, don’t live it, and if she keeps calling you suggest she calls Dr. Phil.