Category Archives: Random Lists – By: OM

Random lists I like to do.

The Strangest Things Said to Me

“You boys don’t have any throwing stars or daggers on you do you?” “This cell phone sucks. You people should make them better.” “Sir could you show my son how to use chopsticks real quick?” I won’t tell you my response to this one, but needless to say I don’t work at PF Changs anymore…… Read More »

Apply To Be My Friend

You must fill out the survey to apply to be my friend. Failure to finish the survey will disqualify you. 1 – During an alien invasion who would you save first? Your family or me? 2 – A zombie has bitten me and I need you to cut off my limb before I turn into… Read More »

For Men Only – Stopping Arguments

You might be amazed at the amount of us men that run right into the bear traps that women set for us. Make no mistake men the enemy is cunning and there really is no rule for when the game is played. Women have been known to try and catch you sleeping… while you are… Read More »

A Meeting

Me: I actually didn’t call this meeting… What the hell is going on? Annoyed: We feel it is time for an intervention Jason. Me: Fuck me. You all aren’t even real. Interven my ass. Anger: I’m more real then you think bud. Where do you think you get your charm from? Love: I feel this… Read More »

10 Possible Ways I Hurt My Back

I’m not totally sure how it happened. But I have some theories why it feels like an elephant landed on me. 1 – I don’t sleep walk. I sleep fight crime. That would be fighting crime while sleeping of course. 2 – I should downgrade to a rapier. My current sword must be too heavy.… Read More »

Listen Up Authors!

I understand that most authors don’t want to be marketers. They’d rather be writing their next best seller or thinking of deeper than deep poetry. I get it, I really do. In a perfect world things would be fair. Writers would get to just write, promoters would promote, and people would sing daily. Unfortunately this… Read More »

10 Ways To Write Without Fear

1 – Write with a lightsaber. Who is honestly going to try and correct your spelling when you are holding a damn lightsaber? 2 – Write a 1,000,000 word disclaimer that totally absolves you of any guilt. 3 – Only write drafts. Never publish. 4 – Write in invisible ink. 5 – Change your name… Read More »

Blogging 101 – Blogging Phrases to Know

“I really enjoyed your article! I wrote a “somewhat” similar post which you can find at http://ThisPostHasNothingAtAllToDoWithYours.com. Thanks again for blogging almost as good as me.” Basically this is link dropping. The person hasn’t really read your post, perhaps the first sentence only. They just want to try and steal a little of your limelight… Read More »

10 Ways to Know if You are Bossy

You order the Sun to stop. You give your husband lists of chores greater than the number one. People keep asking you if something is bothering you or what is wrong. People physically droop when you begin to speak at work. You love “parties” because you get to control everyone… Everyone! Like puppets! You tried… Read More »

Awkward Moments

1 – When you see your new girlfriend suddenly on America’s Most Wanted and she just went in the kitchen to get the “special cookies” she just made for you. 2 – That moment when you turn around to meet your brother’s surprise new wife… the girl from Vegas last year. 3 – Those times where it wasn’t… Read More »