1. Because you can’t make me anymore, United States Government.
2. I am trying to preserve water and what better way to waste a precious resource than guzzling it down from a metal waterhole.
3. I ran out of steroids and these white pills I supplemented with might actually be laxatives.
4. I am already angry. No one wants an angry AND a strong Korean running around Denver.
5. When I workout my fingers get extra big and it makes it hard to grab the zipper on my jeans.
6. I am too sexy when I run apparently because people always talk to me when I am jogging. Don’t you see me using my air for other things cupcake?
7. Last time I went for an “evening run” five cops tackled me and told me to stop resisting arrest…
8. I feel embarrassed lifting the 10 pound weights when Cindy is throwing up 50s. Chill the hell out Cindy!
9. I hate the smell of gyms. They smell like old socks, over active youths, and protein farts. Maybe because that is what they are.
10. People are always screaming and yelling for random reasons… or no reason at all. It feels like a mixture between a haunted house and a torture chamber. Personally I’m not a fan of either those.