1. Inform them of a woman that isn’t a feminist. Be sure and hand out some torches and pitchforks so that they can begin their crusade immediately.
2. Say “I am a feminist too!” Don’t actually elaborate on what your beliefs are though just state that you are on the same side. You might even make the weekly “New Male Feminist Members” tweet I see every Saturday.
3. Keep saying “you guys” whenever you address the group. Apparently this is no longer politically correct and we must now say “you all.”
4. Begin to share with them your own hardships. Watch as they immediately walk away, because honestly no one suffers on this world as much as feminists apparently…
5. Talk about abortion and how wrong it is. Inform people of the evils of abortion and how all humans should have a say. Then be a man doing it.
6. Place the word “man” in your username and become an INSTANT nonfactor.
7. Sincerely compliment them and be a male. They won’t know how to take it and will of course suspect you of having an ulterior motive. With some feminists you really can’t pick “safe words” no matter how hard you try.
8. Clump all feminist together. It is inevitable you will receive at least one comment that sounds something along the lines of “well… I have never met that type of feminist, but…”
9. Concede that perhaps Eve did come before Adam. Then argue that this should negate the whole “patriarchy” debate.
10. Claim you are a “humanist” and that you don’t support one gender over the other. Feminist hate this argument because it leaves them with nothing to argue about. Do they then push the fact that they really do want “females” to be greater than males or do they instead say “Awesome!” and show support for all humans in general. As their movement proclaims…