My goal with this blog is to offend everyone in the world at least once with my words… so no one has a reason to have a heightened sense of themselves. We are all ignorant, we are all found wanting, we are all bad people sometimes.
I see a lot of articles by both men and women claiming that “women are hard to understand.” Why do people find women so complex and difficult to decipher? I figured it was my duty to provide some basic pieces of information for those “lost souls” that cannot understand the opposite sex. You may thank me later world.
Women want a manly man. They want a guy that can rundown a bull and belt out poetry while fighting bad guys with one hand. One tip I hand to men is to always carry a whistle on a date. This isn’t a “rape whistle,” but in fact a “notice me asshole Taxi Driver” whistle! Nothing is more emasculating than franticly trying to wave down a taxi and getting passed by time and time again. Then the woman raises a pinky and “WALLAH” your chariot has arrived! I have solved this problem by carrying a whistle because I can’t do the cool “two finger technique” from the movies. Instead I will blow the shit out of that whistle and hope to impress the woman with my large, bulging red cheeks. You know what they say about large cheeks right…
Men understand that women like flashy things and “the moment.” I have found a way to make ANY moment special. I walk around with a pocket full of glitter and will spontaneously shout “PRESTO” while throwing a handful in the air. The only time this fails to impress is if you happen to be dating a circus performer… they generally expect a second act.
Many females like active and athletic men. I am lazy and get tired just thinking about running, however, I have solved this silly expectation by pretending to get ready to “work out” multiple times a week. I never actually do anything, but the glamour of seeing me “warrior up” normally does the trick. If that fails I MAY do a couple of pushups if the gravitational pull of the earth feels particularly weak.
Apparently women think that men don’t clean… or cook. Men are also really lazy when it comes to remembering when we did it last during arguments. I have solved this issue by creating a Facebook page called “Look honey I did the dishes.” Providing an easily referenced source for women to ponder over BEFORE the argument will always benefit you in the long run. I suggest secondary and third sites for cooking and chores which we men “don’t do ever.”
I don’t understand why guys give up so easily in fights. I know the enemy is cunning and will use loose historical fact to back their attacks. This can easily be repelled, however, by simply never admitting anything. “Did you eat my leftovers from last night?” Nope, no idea what you are talking about… maybe it was the dog…“We don’t have a dog…” Are you sure we don’t have a dog? I have seen many dogs today. You see what I did there men? It isn’t lying if there is enough truth to make it float. If all else fails… use the backup plan and throw glitter in the air and run.
It crossed my mind while driving today that everyone on this blog still calls me Jason. My friends actually don’t call me Jason, they call me Cush and always have. I love my last name and it provides endless scenarios of amusement. For instance I once sat and watched a job recruiter walk past me three times while muttering my name under his breath. “Jason Cushman… Jason Cushman… where the fuck is this Cushman???” Obviously not the Korean guy sitting in front of you right.
My family name is old and my father’s line is directed related to David Cushman who helped organize the Mayflower. Yea… I am bragging a bit. I am NOT related to the Cushman that owns Cushman and Wakefield that I know of. I hinted in a post months ago that I was reminded at how unsuccessful I was by a sign with my name on it… yea that was a Cushman and Wakefield sign. Mystery solved!
I have a Korean name… but I was told it was a girl’s name. An older Korean lady told me the name is actually the type that was once used for males or females. I am not sure what my “birth mother” was thinking when she named me Soojin. Maybe a Korean can explain it to me? I do know the last name Ahn is pretty common, you could throw a rock in a Korean market and hit four or five Ahns at a time. They probably will kung-fu your ass though, so I wouldn’t recommend it.
I often get amused when I get such positive feedback and wonder whether honesty accompanies the words given to me. I think I am a horrible writer on most days, but like every writing blogger I still write. Because I love it.
I dream about writing and hope for the prefect sentence. It is the ultimate quest and I love that it is endless. For what sentence cannot be trumped by a better one? I can only fantasize to write a line that may be considered in that same topic.
I rarely like my writing and I wonder if that same affliction affects other writers. I call it an affliction because it can be taken in one of two ways, as motivation or as a hindrance. I choose to use it as a motivator and always push myself to write new things. I don’t think I have ever written two posts exactly alike on this blog… and that is saying something considering I have written over 4,000 posts in 15 months. How many of those were good though, I catch myself pondering the thought.
I judge myself by myself and always have. I absolutely hate being compared to anyone and you know what I AM BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE. Sometimes it just feels good to say that because “fuck it” why not? The only person that can prove me wrong is myself.
Shatter me with your lust. Listen for the echoes of bewilderment that sound from this empty vessel. Do you hear a beat or instead the slurping sound from the straw of life. The finicky thief steals my last desire, but still the safe is left behind. What good is a door that guards a wish… I wish for it still, if only just for a single beat.
Happy Monday fellow bloggers/followers! I wanted to say once again THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. I absolutely LOVE hearing from you. I LOVE when people come up to me at random, or text me, message me, instagram me and tell me that they can relate to a blog post or that they enjoyed what they read. It means the world to me to have what I have written inspire you. Or make you laugh. Or to make you think “Lord have mercy I am glad I’m not that girl” Whatever it may be, thank you for taking the time to read what I have to say. I realized I didn’t know much about my followers on my blog, so I followed almost everyone back and read through your blogs over the last few days. I am so glad I did this! I was so pleasantly surprised and…
We share a stolen moment. Innocent it was not, as thoughts collided like meteors in the sky. Leaving flashes of wonder, clouds falling in the shape of question marks. What was lost. What was gained. We contemplate meaning together and from that union… a definition is written. Left unsaid by words engraved in lustful sand. Next to our forgotten feelings, litter on a beach once more.
What stands the test of time like hate? Love comes and goes, sadness is coffee’s companion, and yet hate is enjoyed at all hours of the day. What is more liberating than hate? Free of constraint and obligation, I freely spread the flames of my fury without hindrance. In my need to destroy I will often burn the unsuspecting. The guiltless will look on in bemusement as the guilty are stabbed by the spear of aggression. Do I need permission to wield this mace of vengeance simply for the sake of spite? Who dares stay my hand with words of law or an overwhelming feeling of “wrong?”
There is one that dares. Might I not hate “him” the most for that very reason?
I don’t work for WordPress. I have seen some comments speculating that I do… which I find amusing since if I did indeed work for WordPress I probably wouldn’t be blogging so much would I? I think it is people trying to find an “excuse” for why other people are successful. I read a long string of reasons why they feel their own website isn’t worth reading so I thought it would be fun to compare and contrast some of the more popular ones.
“My website is plain and I don’t even own my domain. No one would want to visit my blog.” The only think I paid for was my domain. I still use a FREE template and all customizations done on this website were done by me. It took time and effort, but it was worth learning “how.” You can use excuses all day to explain why people aren’t visiting your blog, but this is not a valid one. Everyone has a potential audience on WordPress.
“No one will want to read what I write especially if it is personal.” Well that is simply not true. People come on WordPress to read personal views and unfiltered thought. If we wanted politically correct articles we would visit CNN.com or some other “crowd pleasing website.” The first step is finding yourself interesting and only you can do that.
“I don’t have a theme… what kind of blog doesn’t have a subject theme or some direction?” HarsH ReaLiTy has no theme. My blog has no direction. People still get onboard for the ride daily… even though we have no clue where the hell we are going! At least I provide alcohol.
“It takes time to grow an audience. Large blogs aren’t grown overnight…” I absolutely hate this saying or any quote like it. People love to think up excuses as to why they are not succeeding or getting where they wish to go. The whole “Rome wasn’t built in a day” view is worn out. In fact Rome might have been built in a day if Koreans had lived there. You can accomplish any goal you really work at in blogging. There are no rules or standards and other bloggers that suggest to you that there are have no clue what they are talking about. They are simply impressing their own limitations on you. Ignore them and do you.
“I will never have a large following because I will never be Freshly Pressed.” When I read sentences like this I want to shoot something. This is such a horrible way of viewing blogging. I have never been Freshly Pressed and will most likely never be in the future. You control your audience size… not Freshly Pressed.
I love reading relationship posts, dating, and articles on love when a woman states how hard it is to “get a guy.” I think often the wording being used is wrong because in most cases the woman is talking about a specific guy or a certain type. In general I feel it is VERY easy for women to get guys… just perhaps not the “Brad Pitt” they are looking for.
I am of the strong opinion that most women can afford to be picky in relationships. It really doesn’t matter how cute she is or even how attractive she finds herself, the bottom line is that in most cases women hold the control of whether or not a relationship will take place. Often times you will read women posting their relationship woes and the truth is that they are going for men that are out of their league. The reality is that even though a woman may not be able to pick a certain “category of man” she still has her “choice” in the groups below that one. This does not take into consideration matters of confidence, but I suppose that is really what this article is about. Why do women lack confidence in relationships when they deal the cards, choose the game, and even decide when the game ends?
Only certain men get to be picky. I love it when feminist and disgruntled women paint ALL MEN as predators. “We are all so aggressive in love and lust and we take what is not given to us.” The stereotype that men are the most forward sex is dead wrong. I am not sure what 5% of men in the world set the bar for ALL other men, but the majority of guys I have encountered are anything but aggressive. Sure I know a few that might be classified as “players,” but they do not constitute the majority. Personally I would be annoyed to see all men act alike and always be on the hunt. How ridiculous would the club scene be if every man in the building were equal in their sexual aggression? Are women missing the group of nerds in the corner daring each other to ask a pretty girl at the bar out? Or the fifty guys dancing with the “wall” because they don’t dare move a few steps onto the dance floor? But all men are misogynist bastards out for the kill right? Wrong…
Women get to be picky and that is their right as the “fairer sex.” Was that offensive? Too bad, I wouldn’t even begin to feel sorry for saying the truth. And the truth is that the men many of you women are ranting about consist of such a small percentage of males it isn’t even worth the generalization. But go ahead with your blanket statements of men and how hard relationships are for women. I’m not buying it.
I have some real haters on WordPress that will attack you for reblogging me. They won’t read anything but the repost of my article and it will turn them off from your website. Think before you reblog one of my posts. Some people are just pathetic.
Three things. 1 – WordPress has been unfollowing people randomly for some reason. Why did I just have to refollow you? 2 – I also like Malone’s site. 3 – Is it strange I didn’t know about your .com website?
Thanks for the kind words and for sending me the link. I needed the pickmeup after having two strikes thrown at me in a row. -OM
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I’ve been kicked in the teeth, hard, plenty of times. As one ages it’s harder to get back up, dust oneself off and get back on it. Age brings with it wisdom which is the gift of time.
One of the things I so realised when I’ve been knocked down is that we can’t do *everything* on our own, or it’s incredibly difficult to do it on one’s own. Social media only serves to re-iterate the point. So my perspective is that we need to learn ways to “do it” in relationship with other people, bringing each other up.
A movie I like is “Scarface” and this kind of serves to illustrate my point. Yes Tony becomes incredibly successful, but his problem is that he’s done it on his own, he’s not really sharing his success with anyone else, or letting anyone enjoy their success. It’s got some elements of…
As many of you know after 15 months of writing under a pseudonym I finally shared a photo and my name. I know… maybe the most important thing to happen this year. I decided to review my Author Bio, but after rereading it there really isn’t anything I want to change other than adding my name. I suppose that simply means I was being honest all along.
Do you have a good Author Bio written? If you do and would like to share the link please feel free to do so here. A lot of new bloggers struggle with their introductory pages and it might help some.
To answer the question, I reblog to give back to my readers. I appreciate that they take the time to come to my website, sometimes daily, and give my writing a read. That is why I do random challenges or similar offers. I actually annoy the hell out of my followers and even have some unsubscribe when I do reblog “overly,” but that is OK to me. I also lose view count, but I think it is worth it and for a purpose.
Again, to my new followers PLEASE disable the email setting for my blog. You don’t want all this junk mail.
Last post today have a safe Thursday WP.
Note: I’ll reblog the new pingbacks to the Challenge tomorrow!
I think you should get another award just for putting that post together with all the pictures lol. I am impressed and thanks for the nice mention!
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Well. It looks like I have been nominated for the Beautiful Blogger Award. Interesting. Thanks to Lysa Taylor for that. :D
This is Lysa. She’s pretty freaking amazing, if you ask me. Not only does she write her own fantastic short stories (which you can find here) and write her own, full-length novels, but she also talks about music (the last one was from Wolf’s Rain, so… you all know what that means. ANOTHER ANIME FAN! :DDD). Absolutely wonderful. I am very grateful to be nominated by her. Everyone should definitely check out her site. I fully recommend it.
From Lysa’s blog:
About the Award
The Beautiful Blogger Award is an honor bestowed by fellow bloggers to show how much they love reading your blog and appreciate the beauty in your words.
I like it and the flow. Thanks for sharing how you connected music with writing! I appreciate you taking the time to take part in the challenge. -OM
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