My goal with this blog is to offend everyone in the world at least once with my words… so no one has a reason to have a heightened sense of themselves. We are all ignorant, we are all found wanting, we are all bad people sometimes.
This is a re-post from several months ago. Thanks to Jason on A opinionated man for teaching me how to do this! I have to give credit where credit is due. And if you get some time, check out his blog. His blog single handedly taught me how to not only create my blog but also taught me everything I know about wordpress and blogging. Thanks Jason, God bless!!!
I used to have a blog. It was some of the finest writing I have ever done. It was also written during some of the darkest periods in my life. Although it was therapeutic for me, it was sinful and a desperate attempt to get someone- anyone to notice me.
But there were salvageable parts. Parts where I talked about my former life as a criminal defense attorney. Parts where I poured out my heart about my clients. And those…
Everyone else is writing “how to” articles so I decided I would write one as well. This is my “how to” process on writing blogs. Hopefully you find some helpful information here.
I begin by putting on a plastic crown that I keep next to my desk. This is to remind me that I am a king and that everything I say is really freaking important. Thus, it should be written.
Next I generally light some candles to set the mood. Only the candles aren’t bright enough and the computer screen really begins to hurt my eyes because of the contrast in natural and unnatural light. This begins to actually alter my mood and force a struggle between my natural and unnatural writing voice. This shit is just crazy.
I normally like to start off with a fun sentence to “get the mood” going. Many people use small posts or quick brain storming exercises to “get the juices flowing.” I will focus in on an emotion such as “God, this burger is really disgusting. Why did I pay seven dollars for this shit? I might be sick.” After a few sentences like that I am REALLY in the mood. A little Keith Sweat and we are ready to rock and roll! Wait… we were talking about writing…
Animals really help writers sometimes to relax and to get over a “hump” if they are struggling with a portion of their story. Fluffy, my pet Liger, is always there for me. Purr Fluffy… purr…
Finally there is the editing part of my writing, or lack thereof. This part of my writing process is the most complex so I will try to be as specific as I can. I had a custom 8 ball created, you know the one that you shake and ask a question to, but instead I had the ball modified to tell me if a sentence is a run on or not and I can safely say the ball has yet to be wrong because I see no run on sentences in this entire post so that is really a good thing and I am really glad I bought this awesome ball!