Part 2 My Feminist Vow – By: Opinionated Man


Part 1 can be found here – http://aopinionatedman.com/2014/03/10/my-feminist-vow-by-opinionated-man/

I vow to never place Mrs. in front of my name. Instead I will hold strong and place “single” (forever…) there instead!

I vow to not do the dishes and clean the kitchen anymore… even though I currently don’t do those things. It is the principle of rejecting them though right?

I vow to aggressively attack other women that are not as feminine as me. If you aren’t with us you are against us!

I vow to keep track of every female celebrity to ensure they are holding up “the banner.” You girls better be waving that thing with pride or else you are obviously a black mark on womanhood. Drop your own agendas, career goals, and instead join the feminist bandwagon! We are accepting members against their will.

I vow to never allow a man to save me in a dangerous situation. If that means I have to wrestle an alligator, well equality has its price! I need some new alligator skin heels anyways… maybe a matching purse?

I vow that when I reach Heaven I will ask God why in the world he created Adam first. Bad move!

I vow to become a geneticist so that we can eventually remove the need for penises. They are evil, ugly, and they move by themselves sometimes!

-Opinionated Man

59 thoughts on “Part 2 My Feminist Vow – By: Opinionated Man

  1. The feminist movement sold us a bunch of lies. It’s very sad. I am a feminist turn Christ follower who is now asking for forgiveness and redemption for not putting my family first. I chose my career and the Rosie the Riveter mentality over serving my family. My prayers every night are for the Lord to bring me back to serving my family. If you are a married woman and have children, taking care of your husband and children should be your first and foremost priority. Both are voluntary decisions and your family deserves the best of you. Many women have bought into the world’s view like I once did that men stink and you have to be it all and do it all. This is simply not true. Thanks for a great post and I look forward to reading more of your pieces.

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  2. “I vow to not do the dishes and clean the kitchen anymore… even though I currently don’t do those things. It is the principle of rejecting them though right?” Oh… the truth comes out! I thought that was included in your more then 50%. LOL

    “I vow to become a geneticist so that we can eventually remove the need for penises. They are evil, ugly, and they move by themselves sometimes!” Wait a minute, WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT. A. MINUTE. Now you’re talking CRAZY talk *SMDH* I like those little one eyed guys don’t take them away. That would be very-very bad, ha! Maybe give one to the feminist? Huh?

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  3. I was once burned because I chose to breast feed my children that a woman did not have to lay like and a I quote “a cow” to waste my time breastfeeding when there is formula for a reason to allow my significant others to share the job or do the job. I said so which bull pulls out the formula to feed the babies? Inquiring mind would like to know what gave you the right to compare me to a cow? She must have thought that I was going to roll over and say okay but not I am not a dog or any animal but that of a female human who as a LAZY ass mom did not want to wake up or bother making bottles when I had milk ready to serve warm for any hour of the day! I then proceeded maybe your jealous because your pectorals hardly qualify as juicy breasts like mine do BUT I am NOT your enemy, YOU are your own enemy. That was the end of that conversation. Women do hate on women and we shouldn’t this feminist movement was created to be united not to spew hate to one another! GOOD post

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  4. Ha! Great post. I commented to another one of your posts about sharing a feminist poem I wrote. It’s slightly controversial, goes with your theme. I would be glad to send it to you for sharing or for your own view. I didn’t post on my blog because it doesn’t really go with my theme but hey, if you need it, I got it. Otherwise, great stuff here!

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  5. Feminism had its day. It was once relevant and important (I believe), and is now reduced to a bunch of regurgitated and ludicrous battle cries as is sarcastically (I hope) stated above. The truth is (and oh, how it hurts!) women are women’s biggest enemies in our time- NOT men. We’ve established that we have the power and the intellect and the ability to compete and even to win sometimes in the various battles of the sexes. I am speaking about women in this country, of course–in other places this is not the case (yet.) What we HAVEN’T figured out yet (although we make a great show like we have- we’re a bunch of flipping liars) is how to (successfully) deal with other women. I don’t know how else to put it except to say that if we, as a gender, devoted as much time and energy to whatever it is we want out of life as we put into competing with, talking shit about, and being jealous of other women we’d be on our way to world peace or something similarly grand. Instead, we waste our time and our breath and our energy defeating ourselves and others more like ourselves than we’d prefer to admit and I just don’t get it. I can say that some of it is programmed and a smidge of it HAS to be biological because even enlightened gals like myself (wink) find ourselves randomly hating, judging, and putting other women down for the very same qualities we are most ashamed of in ourselves. I think the crux of it, as it is with most other things in this existence, is fear. We fear other women. And we don’t even know why. We fear they will somehow end up with what is ours (our jobs, our husbands/boyfriends/f*** buddies, whatever) and spend our lives trying to prevent this, and thus NOT spending our lives building…our lives. Anyway- I’m done now.

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    • I really liked the sentence “women are women’s biggest enemies.” I find it gets my backup when I read over and over by “so called feminists” about all the “rights” I supposedly have. It puts me in war mode because I am not an alpha male with all the trimmings that go with it.

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    • I think that the “alpha male” stereotype is far less cut and dry than it once was anyway- with the proliferation of so many single parents, for example, kids are growing up with different role models and values and lines have become blurred, roles have been interchanged and reversed in some cases…in summary, no one can really point to stereotypes anymore as the sole support to whatever inane point they are attempting to make. To do so is to reveal yourself as little more than a narrow minded individual without the intelligence to make accusations based on facts and real situations. We are all only as free as we want to be or believe we are. This is my opinion.

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  6. I know this was meant to be funny but I have to point out on a serious note the whole attacking others women’s choices. Couldn’t agree more that this happens and it is possibly the biggest fail of the whole ‘movement’ – who want to jump on board a bandwagon that says it’s my way or the highway????

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  7. Glad everyone is laughing as I thought the comment stream might be telling you off for the mock of ultra-feminists! I though you might have to go buy yourself a pocket p _ _ _ _! I want my man to keep his penis, thank you. And he can save me should the opportunity arise, but I’d do the same for him. :)

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  9. Yay! I made it in your vow! And don’t worry, I got the permission of my boyfriend before I wrote this comment on your blog. ;)

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  10. Oh wow – are we having a transgender moment or am I misreading this post. But number three with recruiting against your will – pure genius and sadly true.

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