I vow I will never hold the door open for another woman. If the door is about to hit her in the face I will not turn away, but will instead observe the harsh reality of equality.
I vow to never appreciate boobs again. I don’t have any myself so they must not be special. If they were indeed important… men would have been given at least one right?
I vow to never say the word “male” again! I turn my back on the label. From this day forth I will be known as human. I also intend to pick randomly which restroom I use since I am no longer observing silly differences. I have always wondered what the women’s restroom looks like…
I vow to never buy a woman flowers anymore. If a pair of socks and an ugly tie is good enough for men, well it should be good enough for you ladies as well. They won’t match either.
I vow to never look below a woman’s neck ever again. If a lady asks me to look at her outfit or shoes I will immediately inform her that I don’t care about such shallow things. I am on a face only diet!
I vow to write a tweet every week about feminism and the awful enslavement of women. I will not gloss over the hard facts of shopping sprees, unfair amounts of parental love, and the current efforts to create an equal society. In true feminist form I will ignore all the good and stick to the bad in this world. Without the bad we have nothing else to complain about… we must defend our breadbasket at all costs!
I vow to only cheer for the women in Disney movies. This is more important than religion… apparently.
I vow to never call a woman pretty, fine, sexy, or beautiful ever again. I will reserve those awesome words for myself. Instead all women will receive classy words like “average, so-so, and you can do better.”
I vow to come up with more vows tomorrow. This is now my new movement.