Killed over a Photo bomb!

That picture must have been worth it! Killing someone over a photo… that takes the cake!

The Daily Opinion – White Feminism?

I learned a new phrase today! White feminism! Apparently this is the big topic amongst feminist right now, what group of women has the right to carry the banner?!? If you don’t know what I am talking about simply go type in the tags “feminism or feminist” and read away. I saw plenty of articles on it by WOC. That is a new one for me as well, WOC stands for “women of color.” I don’t know why it isn’t FOC, feminist of color???

I would like to credit Navigator on this one. I think he secretly threw in the word “racism” into the topic list for the last feminist conclave. Instead of the normal topics on “how to deal with misogynist bastards named Opinionated Man” we now have them fighting each other. Score one for the men folk.


Coping with Losing Elderly Parents

There is no easy way to lose one’s elderly parents but I reckon I am one of the lucky ones in that I had a very good relationship with both my mother and father and was able to be with them daily during their final years.

My father wrote me just one letter in our shared lifetime and that was just two weeks before the love of my life was swept away by cancer in January 1981 when I was just twenty-four. It was a very ‘fatherly’ letter and amongst other things, Dad said:

Please God in the coming year you will realise that there is no peace except the peace in your own heart. You have done all in your power to help and at least in this respect you will have no regrets. Regrets are often the most difficult to bear. 

These wise words about regrets remained etched in my mind and heart as my parents aged and I am so glad to be able to say that I don’t have many regrets about my relationship with them, especially in their latter years. Now that my own son has reached eighteen, I cringe a fair bit at the angst I must have caused them when I was a bit of a runaway teenager!

Mother died in May 2009, aged 88, and Dad lived for just a further sixteen months, dying at the ripe old age of 91. It felt like the end of the world when they died and I am now in that unimaginable future.

It was only after they had both died that I realised how little has been written about coping with the loss of elderly parents. Somehow, it seems that because parents are old that it’s considered to be somehow okay and natural  for them to die. I can accept the ‘natural’ bit but the ‘okay’ still catches me.

During the last few years, I’ve drawn on my training as a sociologist and on my life experience to try and find ways to cope with losing two of the most important people in my entire life. For example, I find solace in gardening, photography, poetry, writing and walking in the woods. These were things that Mother and Father both loved and I feel their presence most when I’m involved in these activities.

I would love to know how you have coped with losing your elderly parents or how you feel about that prospect if you still have your mother or father, or both, alive.

Jean Tubridy, Ireland.