With the growth in surveillance and the monitoring of society by “World Governments” do you as a citizen feel safer with more eyes on your every action?
If my posts have seemed a bit reflective that is because I have been stuck in that state this week. There is a reason. My first renewal payment for this domain is coming up and some might call me crazy, but I actually have juggled with the idea of not renewing it. I am going to write out the reasons why in this post, they aren’t complaints, they are simple realities.
I never knew what I was making here. I just did it. I have created something special through gathering a group of people that love to converse and share their thoughts on writing and the world. I believe, just from my numbers that I am forced to see from the dashboard, that there are about twenty times as many reading on a weekly basis that don’t comment and that is ok. The numbers still shock me sometimes. The popularity of this website is truly remarkable and it could never be what it is without the readers.
Many would consider this the end game and would probably sit back and run this site till they grew bored with it and moved on to a new blog in the future. Some might sell the domain if they were inclined, I actually thought about it at one point. It would have been a decision I would have regretted later. I know the reasons why it would have been a stupid idea, but at the same time I will admit the idea of it brought a temporary sense of relief. This website is a job to be honestly and I still have a real job I work at for 40 hours a week. I then also have two children and a wife with needs, not to mention a home that is secretly battling me and my pocketbook. You add in a couple hundred comments a day that need responding to, ten or so emails from wordpress followers as well, and then personal emails on top… and you have one busy ass schedule.
It has been an awesome year. I have enjoyed growing with this blog and having a place to quickly release my fears, passions, beliefs, and random rants when I want. The bloggers I have met, the challenges I have faced, the two eBooks I wrote, Project O, and the many guest bloggers I have encountered have all been a great experience. This website is now a fresh start though, excluding me sharing my past poetry. I will move on from here with new materiel only and I may even decide if a real novel is worth tackling. Who knows but 2014?
I will renew this website on January 3, 2014. One more year of HarsH ReaLiTy. I have adopted a new habit as well, one you all might be proud of. Any negative comments will be ignored and I have blocked bloggers I know do not like my work, what I am doing on WordPress, or really just me. That is cool there is plenty of room here for us all. Stay over there.
HarsH ReaLiTy will continue to be a place for my thoughts, dreams, and sometimes releases of anger. I hope you will continue to enjoy reading my chaos.
I want to say one final time before this post gets really out of hand and cheesy a heartfelt Thank You! Without you all that come here and read, I would never have written a lot of the things I got to write this year. So thank you.
It beats. And as you feed it food and thoughts, it grows and forms before you. Ever evolving, ever enlarging, it soon feeds off the emotions surrounding it. Like a whirlwind it forces those around to be pushed and pulled in every direction. It does not care anymore what harm might come, because it does not abide by your rules. You created it, you gave it birth, and now it is free.
It breathes a sigh of relief, a release of tension brought upon by the breaking of bonds placed by others, possibly by you. Like a convict taking his first step of freedom, it has discovered the same joyous feeling of escape. But what other feelings does it also like? What has it grow to love? You can no longer know these things; control has been lost to you. And like the spectator that you are, you can only watch and hope that you have guided it enough. Given it enough love to offset the tempest that is forming in front of you.
You think you know the bite of the wind? The feeling of despair as despair itself swallows you? Think that you know pain and what causes it? Is the meaning solidified in your heart? How much pain will you feel when my anger crumbles the very definition that you know? Think me afraid of wielding fire if that is what it takes to slay my foe?
So many faces, how many of them are real? I see so many people with their own voices. Voices filled with curiosity, anger, amusement, sadness, despair, and many other emotions felt by those in the darkness. The darkness is anyone outside my own circle of light; it does not mean those people are in a worse place… it just means they are not within my area of concern. Until they step into my own light they do not hold my concern. This is how I differentiate between who is important and who is not. Why should I waste my time and effort on people that are in the darkness, the outskirts of my domain? I do not care.
They press their faces at the window.
“Who is this guy?”
“Why does he write the way he does?”
“Why does he think his words are so important!?!”
“Who the hell does he think he is?”
I hear the questions muttered in the crowd. I turn the knob and the noise quiets. I smile because it is that simple for me, and yet those voices are really still at the same level. Those faces are still pressed against the glass. I glance at them occasionally; I would be a fool to say that their presence doesn’t affect me. Their eyes seem fixated, some with curiosity, others with encouragement, and even some with jealousy. They are part of the landscape. I do not water them with tears.